I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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