You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
