if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
being pregnant is like rehab
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize