I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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