The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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