break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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