i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
