none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
