she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
