So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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