4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
