No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
babies were throwing up all over the place
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Randomize
