We named our party play list daddy issues
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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