Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize