Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
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It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
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Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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