So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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