Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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