Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
