He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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