Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
