Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
