it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
