Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
