Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
