he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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