Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
