he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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