you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
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she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
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When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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