if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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