I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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