I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He shit in the fireplace
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
