so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize