yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
