Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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