Don't you send me to vm
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize