The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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