watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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