It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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