We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize