I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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