Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
