my being single is dangerous.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
