38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
