It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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