Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
