I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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