just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
