The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I had to cum in my sink.
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