"it" just moved
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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