She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
