The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
