I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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