5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
