That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize