I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
