I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
