butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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